"If I gave you a lemon, Elizabeth, you would make cream soda." ~Nessarose
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Friday, February 22, 2008 |
Things I Need to Remember -My Father watches over me as I sleep
-"God does not force His way into your heart, He writes the Word on your heart and when your heart breaks, He falls in." ~ anonymous Rabbi
-"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~ Romans 8:38-39
-Endurance
~Elizabeth
"As soon as Roverandom heard that voice, he sat up and begged.
'My little begging dog!' said little boy Two (of course); and he ran up and patted him. 'Where have you been to?'
...Roverandom said how sorry he was, and he told the little boy how he had fallen out of his pocket; and all about Psamathos, and Mew, and many of the adventures he had had since he was lost. That is how the little boy and his brothers got to know about the odd fellow in the sand, and learned a lot of other useful things they might otherwise have missed. Little boy Two thought that 'Roverandom' was a splendid name. 'I shall call you that too,' he said. 'And don't forget that you still belong to me!" - Roverandom by J.R.R. Tolkien
Posted at 09:40 pm by freckleface
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For Lent this year, I'm trying to quiet myself. Not overreact. Not get worked into a frenzy. And believe it or not, staving off overloading is a difficult thing for me to do. I always want to be everything I can, all the time. But right now, what I want to do more than anything is relax, not have any obligations. But I can't. I have too many requirements. I cannot simply cast away my homework, meetings, schedules.
Is growing up supposed to be this stressful? Or am I blowing it out of proportion?
Quietly,
~Elizabeth
Posted at 09:17 pm by freckleface
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Tuesday, February 12, 2008 |
When I was very young, I was told that unicorns were no longer seen upon the earth because when Noah called all the animals onto the Ark, they did not heed him. They laughed and continued playing, until the rains came...and they, like the rest of the scornful sinners, drowned in the flood.
Every time Lent rolls around, I always start thinking about unicorns. Perhaps...just perhaps, because of the Savior, they've come back. Their sins have been forgiven too. And it is said that only a pure soul can see one. And a person can't exactly be loud when looking for a mystical creature. Well, during Lent, we have to purify and quiet ourselves....doesn't it just make sense that in the Lenten season, we should be looking for unicorns?
I will always be a child. And I will always believe in, look for, hope for unicorns.
~Elizabeth
Posted at 06:36 pm by freckleface
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Thursday, January 31, 2008 |
Chemistry I Honors, to be specific. It is the bane of my existence. And yesterday was the first time in three weeks I did not come home with it. But it worries me nonetheless...it is the main source of my school-related frustration. And the horrible thing about that is, to become a veterinarian, chemistry is of massive importance. But I hate it. And my feelings are made worse by the fact that my teacher is greatly intimidating. She's too smart to teach us. Which is not helping my self-confidence at all. *sighs* And on this blog, I'm going to admit it: this subject is provoking a vastly unsettling question....Am I really cut out for this?
~Elizabeth
P.S. On a lighter note...TODAY IS THE FIRST SNOW DAY WE'VE HAD THIS YEAR!! Although technically the school was closed from freezing rain. WHOOO!!!
Posted at 08:46 am by freckleface
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I remembered, I have another name: the Shieldmaiden. Shieldmaidens were women (typically virgins) from Norse legend who fought in battle and did not have to hide their gender. However, they were not like Amazon warrior women, because they did not exactly forsake their femininity. They were often nobles and one day they could be in their manor, being a perfect hostess, and the next on the battlefield.
I fight too. Every day, I fight a battle; for my friends, my family, myself. Before I even really knew what a shieldmaiden was (I had just thought it was a term Professor Tolkien made up for his character Eowyn), I fought. I remember, in the Dark Year (aka 7th grade), before every single class I would cry to God "Please, I cannot fight this fight any longer." Every day I still pray for the strength to lift my sword one more time. And sometimes I just have to crawl under my Shield and ride the tides of life's battles out, but I can't always do that.
Fighting is not always enjoyable. It is my duty, yes, but not always a joy. Sometimes, I just want to be a princess. But I don't get to be one often...indeed, it is a rare occasion when I can throw off my armor.
And this time, Christmas, one would expect the fighting to stop....this year, it has not for me. The battles ensue. But I try to remember: there is hope. My Ally and General is here. My enemies quail at the sight of a Baby. Dawn has scattered the darkness of the opposing hosts.
~Elizabeth
"For morning came, morning and a wind from the sea; and darkness was removed, and the hosts of Mordor wailed and terror took them, and they fled, and died, and the hoofs of wrath rode over them. And then all the host of Rohan burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them, and the sound of their singing that was fair and terrible came even to the city." (Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King p.820)
Posted at 07:35 pm by freckleface
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Thursday, January 03, 2008 |
To Professor John Ronald Reuel Tolkien! Today is his 116th birthday, bless him. He's catching up to the Old Took (who reached 130). Just like Bilbo.
I feel so honored to be born one hundred years after him....one hundred years, 3 months and 21 days, exactly. And yet, one hundred years too late.... Happy birthday, Professor.
~Elizabeth
Posted at 11:05 am by freckleface
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Wednesday, January 02, 2008 |
Mmm...I just got back from my first massage ever. It was delightful. I do not feel completely...limp like I expected, but I'm quite relaxed nonetheless. It's like, my muscles were rusty before and now they're lubricated and smooth. But I'm not like a boned fish. I'll see how I am in the morning, though....
~Elizabeth
P.S. I feel so luxurious right now, I wish I had a chocolate mousse! :D
Posted at 06:54 pm by freckleface
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Sunday, December 30, 2007 |
My best mate and I were chatting, and I said "I don't like the way people can find names for themselves so easily." She asked what I meant, and this is, while not actually being what I said, is how I feel:
I do not like labels, like prep, goth, jock, emo, etc. But I do think it's cool when a person points to someone and says "That's [insert name here], the Southern Belle." Or the soccer player. Or the pirate. Because it reflects what they are interested in, it's a part of their essence. Now....whenever I tell people I'm Captain Elizabeth the Heartless, they just laugh. Because, really, I'm not heartless at all. I do enjoy being called the Horse Rider, though. Most of the time. But sometimes....I don't feel like I'm worthy of that name. It's a self-confidence issue.
Anyway, I was wondering what kind of title encompasses me completely...and it hit me. I am the child. Whimsical, crazy, too trusting, foolish. And, of course, small. But that does not mean you should not take me seriously. And that does not mean I'm carefree or I don't have deep emotions. FAR from it. Children worry about things and cry....thinking about it, children cry a lot. More than adults. I weep a lot too.
Yea, verily. I am Elizabeth the Child.
~Elizabeth
Posted at 07:43 pm by freckleface
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Friday, November 30, 2007 |
"It's chilly in here" is one of Mrs Lovewright's characteristic sayings; from The Story of Mrs. Lovewright and Purrless her Cat. She was a chilly person. And I've been chilly too. Physically, I've been trembling cold, ever since I flew to New Jersey, it seems...and since my grandfather's death, my emotions have been numb. I have not shed a single tear for him; it's like I'm in shock still, though it's been a week. It's as if I can't...feel anything. I mean, it's easy
to be happy on the outside; and that doesn't necessarily mean it's
false. But inside...in my core, I just feel cold. Like no flame of joy or sadness is touching me. Right now, I am a chilly person. I can't get cozy. "'There's no being cozy without a cat,' Mrs. Lovewright said." Would a cat help me? A friend? A movie? A book? A cup of tea? Any combination of those? I just don't know.
~Elizabeth
Posted at 07:25 pm by freckleface
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Saturday, November 17, 2007 |
I want to go Home. Not Las Vegas, not Ohio, but my real Home. Because being here,
on this side of Eden...it really sucks sometimes. And I'm getting really sick of....explaining
everything. So I'll just have a song do it for me.
"I've been lost now, days uncounted,
And it's months since I've seen home.
Can you hear me, can you hear me,
Or am I all alone?
...Take me back now, take me back now.
To the port of my birth.
Am I in my cabin dreaming,
Or are you really scheming
To take my ship away from me?
You'd better think about it,
I just can't live without it.
So please don't take my ship from me.
I can feel the hand of a stranger
And it's tightening round my throat.
Heaven help me, heaven help me.
Take this stranger from my boat.
I'm your captain, I'm your captain
Although I'm feeling mighty sick.
Everybody, listen to me,
And return me my ship.
I'm your captain.
I'm getting closer to my home." -I'm Your Captain
~Captain Elizabeth
Posted at 09:20 pm by freckleface
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